Working moms versus stay-at-home moms is a continuous debate which challenges the various roles of men and women as they operate within their work and family life.
Personally, I've been in both places at various intervals of my life, and I can say that truly, as a wife and a mother, there are both positive and negative aspects of working outside the home as well as staying in the home; hence the debate.
If you are not yet married, but thinking about doing so, this should probably be a topic of deep concern and careful discussion for you and your future spouse before tying the knot in holy matrimony because there are so many factors involved here that require prayerful and thoughtful consideration.
You see, as a single woman, you probably have no problem with this subject, and, most likely, you are already working or looking for employment. Perhaps you are working for future goals of marriage, career, a home, or car, or for savings, etc. Whatever reasons or goals you may have for work; they are your's solely.
If you are a man, looking for a future wife, then perhaps you will want or expect her to work while married, or at least contribute something financially to the marriage. This is happening more with our "millennial population groups, who are those people born from early 1980's through the early 2000's", according to nytimes.com/2014.
Some cultures have arranged marriages, in which cases certain religious and cultural standards are attributed first and held in high regard even before exchanging vows. Some include that of providing a dowry from the bride's family to the groom and family. These types of cultures may reflect on how the prospective bride and groom are to view their future married lives together, how they raise their children, and how they place each other's role of work and career within their family life as well.
This is a sad fact, but true nonetheless. Single moms usually do not have many of the same resources or backup plans as do the married working moms or stay-at home moms have.
I've experience this dilemma in my life as well, and as a single working mom I have really never had much of an opportunity to become a stay-at-home mom as I would have liked to have had.
During those trying years of my life I worked with other single working-moms who had jobs/careers outside the home also, and they reported to me how they too found it extremely difficult to stay at home with their kids even if they wanted to. We all expressed concerns and complaints along these lines of having:
So these are some of the everyday chores that a working-mom has to deal with, and for her children besides the challenge of working long hours at a job/career as well. If she should want to be a stay-at-home mom, the task remains extremely difficult to do so, especially for a single-mom. In some cases, it is not even a possibility, especially if there is not a father/husband, or even grandparents along to help pick up the slack in the home.
Well if you are a married working mom or even a stay-at-home mom, then the majority of times you may have some help and support along the way when raising your kids and taking care of household responsibilities.
There are a few pros and benefits I find with many mothers who work outside the home. These may include outside daty-entry type or factory jobs/positions, or a high-end, corporate position. Or you may be an entrepreneur or CEO of your own company but work in an office somewhere outside the home. Some of the pros to this manner of working are:
There are some pros and benefits to being a stay-at-home mom as well. You may be a working mom in this position as one who has her own business, an entrepreneur, whose office base is at home where she can be close to her children; or, you may want to home school your children and wish to remain in your own home; or, you may be in the position, whether financially, or by sheer motherly desire, to be at home with your kids during their pre-school years, and then perhaps go to work after they are in school.
Whatever position you find yourself in by way of staying at home with your kids, here are a few pros to doing so:
Just like there are benefits and pros of being a working mom or a stay-at-home mom, indeed there are cons as well. It may depend on your principles and standards, but the cons seem to be the most stressful within the family unit.
As our society has become more technical, digital, less connected, and less family-oriented, you, as a Christian parent, may need to become more creative in keeping your family together and bonded more regardless of working outside or inside the home. Furthermore, you and your spouse may want to re-visit this subject and re-think your family priorities.
Ways in which being a working mom becomes a con, and not beneficial to you and your family are when:
There are also a few cons that can arise for the stay-at-home mom, who may or may not be working for money at home. Consider these points:
Whatever you and your family decide you should or want to do, make sure you are doing so in love, honor, and obedience to God; then do it for your family's sake.
There may be times in your life when you are a working mom and a stay-at-home mom, but at different intervals of life, and for various reasons. There is no shame in working to help support your husband and the rest of your family, if that is a decision you both make together prayerfully. The same goes with staying at home with the kids. Let there be peace and order in your home.
Yes, the debate will go on and on regarding what's the best choice to make on this issue-being a working mom or a stay-at-home mom. Regardless of what friends or family may say, or behave towards you about your decision, remember; you are the one working or staying at home, not them.
It is ultimately your decision and your life. As long as you are following God's commands and principles in the Bible and obeying the Holy Spirit, then who cares what others think, right? Allow what God is telling you and your spouse to be the deciding factor on this issue, and then you will know that decision is the right one for you. When you give Him the honor and precedence over all areas of your life, you will then experience the joy, grace, and peace, in your home that cannot be obtained from any other way. God bless you as you fulfill His purpose for you in your life.
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