dating in the workplace

Dating in the workplace brings many challenges to your work environment in which you must take special care and become aware of. One must remember however, that when at work, you work. So that must of course, be your number one priority at the job.

If you are a single Christian who is also looking for a marriage partner in life, then it can be much easier to look where you may spend the most time with those of the opposite sex--at work. You may be spending the duration of up to 8-10 hours, more or less, with co-workers, partners, or employers, in which case you can learn an awful lot about a person within those time-frames.

Of course, your work environment makes for getting to know people a little bit better on an intellectual level as well as learning more about their personality, their character traits, and habits. It most definitely oftentimes reveals whether or not they are a Christian too. 


a few dating don'ts in the workplace

There are a few "don'ts" to mention when it comes to going out with someone you work with and as a believer in Christ, your Christian testimony shines through in every situation, including this one. Here are some worth noting:

  • Don't date ANYONE who is a non-believer. I speak from personal experience on this one and can definitely say that it can only bring you trouble in the long run. Reasons for this: (1) It will put doubt upon your Christian testimony. You may be challenged at times to pull your guard down and lower your spiritual standards by accepting or acting upon bad behavior and/or seductive and demonic thoughts/activities from the non-believer whom you are dating. (2) Other co-workers, partners, or employers may be hindered in some way due to your association with that person, (3) Your own work might be affected by the thoughts, words, or deeds of that person. Scripture also has something to contribute on this line of thought: 

1 Peter 5:8 says to, " Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour..."

2 Corinthians 6:14-17 tells us, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said 'I will dwell in them and walk in them, and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Wherefore come out from among them and be ye separate,' saith the Lord,' and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you'".

2 John 10 says, "If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed." And in,

Proverbs 3:5-6 it instructs us to, "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall directs thy paths."

  • Don't even think about dating someone if you are already married. Of course, as a believer you certainly already know this; however, it deserves repeating as we are so often tempted along these lines, even in our Christian faith. It is so easy to step over the line sometimes, even just a little bit. As a married person you must consider your vows and the covenant between you and your spouse, and with God.  Satan does not want any happy marriages and will throw you a curve ball in your own marriage by placing an attractive man/woman at your side in the workplace. Here is where you must always be on your guard. The Bible gives us direction here:

1 Peter 2:11 says, "Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul..."

1 John 2:16 says, "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but of this world."

Proverbs 6:25 says, " Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids."

Proverbs 6:32 says, "But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul."

Exodus 20:14 says,"You shall not commit adultery."

Matthew 5:27-28 says, "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, 'Thou shalt not commit adultery': But I say unto you,'That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committeth adultery with her already in his heart."

Hebrews 13:4 says,"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

Job 31:1 reminds us,"I made a covenant with my eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?" And lastly in,

James 1:14-15, it says,"But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away from his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death."

  • Don't date a co-worker, partner, or employer if it hinders others, or your job in some way. If you are already dating someone at your workplace but can tell that it is obviously hurting someone else there, or affecting your own work or the work progress of another person, or perhaps it is casting a shadow of doubt regarding your performance at work, then you should probably reconsider dating that person. Look at the procedures, policies, ethics, and/or guidelines of your employment to re-evaluate dating practices there. Consider what God has to say through His Word regarding this issue:

Luke 17:1-2 says, "Then said He unto the disciples, 'It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.'"

Romans 14:13 tells us,"Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way."

1 Corinthians 10:23 also says,"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify."

Romans 15:1-3 says,"We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbor for his good to edification. For even Christ pleased not Himself; but, as it is written, 'The reproaches of them that reproached thee, fell on Me.'"

2 Corinthians 6:3 says, "Giving no offense in any thing: that the ministry be not blamed."

1 John 2:10 says, "He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him."

1 Corinthians 8:9 tells us, "But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours becomes a stumblingblock to them that are weak." And lastly there is,

1 Corinthians 8:13 says, "Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, let I make my brother to offend." 

As you can see throughout scripture, God wants you and me to continually examine our motives and conduct, where ever we may be, even on the job. Think about your spiritual values within your spiritual walk with the Lord, and what you want your Christian testimony to portray about you while you contemplate whether or not you should date someone you work with.

Dating in the workplace can be tricky but perhaps doable if done according to the right framework of mind, in the right place at the right time, and in a godly manner. And whatever you do, do not allow your own personal desires and ambitions to overpower your godly judgement when it comes to dating in the workplace.

Pray on it. If it is the Lord's will, He will place your future girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse right where He wants him/her to be in your life. Who knows? That person might be there right under your nose--at your workplace. May the Lord God guide you through this process with all discernment and understanding.


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