arguing never works!

Arguing never works! As a matter of fact, it goes completely against God's will, in that it causes strife and tension buildup in the home and in every walk of life.

Why do people argue anyway? Most likely it is to prove their point, to persuade, influence or even demand that you or another person act or think a certain way, or perhaps to even get their own way about something. But for some reason it just rarely ever works. And even if it does, it leaves the other person feeling upset, used, rejected, or downtrodden--all of which are negative feelings.

There are people from various families who go through this every single day within their own homes, workplaces, school houses, and church houses. They bicker and fuss about nearly everything in life that may affect them, and what do they do? They carry those negative feelings of bitterness, rejection, and hurt on to the next seemingly innocent person. Or they may carry these hurts, pains, and grudges around as though they were trophies. It's almost like a communicable disease or something!

arguing is prideful, hurtful, and disrespectful

Generally, when you go inside your home you wish to enter into a happy, positive, and peaceful environment, not one in which you would like to just run away from. Things can get tough and difficult there when everyone is quarreling, upset, and at each other's throats. Even on a normal day you'd like to not feel as though you are in a "fight or flight" mode. Talk about a lot of stress!

Are you an angry Christian, and one who likes to create distension in your home, school, workplace, or church? Or, even if you don't like to do so, do you still find yourself either starting an argument with someone, or downright determined to finish it? I have worked on jobs with, and gone to church worship services with people who seem to enjoy starting something but then run away when everyone's upset, yelling, and arguing back and forth at each other. It's a complete nightmare!

As you may know, it can be a very hurtful and disrespectful practice if you are not aware and careful of it. It hurts the other person's feelings, especially if insulting or mean things have been said. It also becomes disrespectful in that you don't honor and respect the other person's feelings, ideas, or thoughts on what is being discussed or talked about. The other person begins to feel invalidated and ends up just tuning you out! I have been on both the giving out and the receiving end of this issue as well and it's not nice either way.

Furthermore, arguing brings about pride in one's heart. You may not look at it this way, but indeed that is the reason or the end result that may come from it. You see, pride puffs you up in your own eyes and your heart. You can become so carried away with it that you create an idol before God--and that is, self. So, in essence, pride is a sin and must not be part of the life of a believer in Christ. Here is what the Bible says regarding this subject:

  • Titus 3:9-11 says, "But avoid foolish questions, and genealogoies, and contentions, and strivings about the law; for they are unprofitable and vain. A man that is an heretick after the first and second admonitions reject; Knowing that he that is such is subverted, and sinneth, being condemned of himself."
  • Proverbs 20:3 tells us, "It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: but every fool will be meddling."
  • Galatians 6:4 says, "But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another."
  • Isaiah 2:12 reminds us, " For the day of the Lord of hosts shall be upon everyone that is proud and lofty, and upon everyone that is lifted up; and he shall be brought low:..."
  • Galatians 5:19-21 warns us, "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murderers, drunkenness, revelings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God." Finally,
  • 1 John 5:21 says, "Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen."

arguing causes anger, hatred, and wrath

Arguments, sibling rivalries, distentions, and ongoing conflict in your home, school, church, or place of business can create even more damaging emotions in a person, and may end up manifesting itself into outright anger, hatred, and wrath within him/herself towards the other person who provoked them in the first place. If it has been left unchecked, or unforgiven, it can then create a root of bitterness inside that person, affecting all other areas of life, and to the degree of damage and hurt to one's soul for a very long time, if not forever!

As you can see, many forms of sin are manifested and left to fester into an individual's life because this bit of arguing, speaking in mean and insulting ways, and keeping ongoing upsets with others not only continually damages the soul, but puts a huge dent of doubt and unbelief regarding spiritual issues in one's life; not to mention affecting his/her Christian testimony in a highly negative way as well.

Consider also these passages of Scripture regarding the consequences and behaviors of one whose life is negatively affected in this way:

  • 1 Samuel 2:3 reminds us, "Talk no more so exceeding proudly let not arrogancy come out of your mouth, for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by Him actions are weighed."
  • Romans 12:3 says, "For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."
  • Proverbs 8:13 says, "The fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate."
  • Isaiah 13:11 warns us, "And I will punish the world for their evil, and the wicked for their iniquity; and I will cause the arrogancy of the proud to cease, and will lay low the haughtiness of the terrible.
  • James 4:1 says, "From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?"
  • Romans 14:1 says, "Him that is weak in the faith receive ye, but not to doubtful disputations."
  • Proverbs 15:1 tells us, "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." Lastly in,
  • Philippians 2:3, it says, "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem the other better than themselves."

instead of arguing, keep the peace!

So, instead of arguing, or insisting that your point is being made, or demanding the other person listen to, or behave as you would want them to; strive for peace instead.

Sure, its hard sometimes, but then again, as a Christian believer, it is what the Lord expects and commands of us to do, and how we are to behave. Your words and actions speak volumes to people, even your own silence can be powerful in expressing what is right.

After all, everyone wants peace and order in their home life, in their church surroundings, in the workplace, and in school situations. If there is someone in your life who loves to get your dander up, upset you, create conflicts everywhere he/she goes, don't allow it to penetrate your thinking to the degree that you feel you must act/ react to it, or argue with them about it. Just let it go! Lay it at Jesus's feet and place all your burdens on Him. In prayer you can call on Him and tell Him all about it. He will then lead and direct you on what to do and how to behave in that situation.

These scripture verses will help to guide and comfort you when you are feeling upset, depressed, or agitated with other people, or just stressed out with life in general:

  • Philippians 4:6 says, "Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."
  • John 16:33 says, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in Me ye might have peace: In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."
  • Psalm 55:22 tells us, "Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."
  • Ephesians 4:3 says, "Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
  • 1 Corinthians 14:40 says, "Let all things be done decently and in order."
  • Joshua 1:9 says, "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest."
  • Psalm 119:76 tells us, "Let, I pray thee, Thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to Thy word unto Thy servant."
  • Romans 12:18 says, "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men." Lastly,
  • John 14:27 encourages us through Jesus's words when He said, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Now, just in closing, I would like to emphasize that the life of a Christian will have its ups and downs with many challenges, frustrations, and obstacles; and yet, throughout all of that we are examined, looked upon, and watched by those who are of the faith, as well as from those who have yet to hear and know of the gospel message.

You may think that arguing has little to nothing to do with living a spiritual life; but, it really does. People are watching you and taking mental notes of how you conduct and carry yourself in all of these types of difficult situations.

If you are one who argues a lot with people, or have outbursts of anger from time to time in getting your point across, then their thinking may be that you are a difficult person to get along with or talk to, and could be the result of them not trusting in what you say or do. Whatever the case may be, it is always best to think and say a quick prayer first before the arguing comes along in your conversations with others. 

Anytime I feel compelled to being argumentative with family, friends, or whomever I am with or around at the time, the Holy Spirit brings this verse to my mind in Colossians 4:6, which states, "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man." This verse simply keeps me humble before God in watching what I say. Let it also be a help and a blessing to you as you continue to do His will while you walk with Him every day.

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