chaos within your home and family unit

Chaos can take over your home and family unit if allowed to do so, but never fear; God is able to make peace abound all the more! This can and does happen among any member of your family, including distension between spouses, siblings, grandparents, or even situations outside of the family (church, work, social life) can be affected

It's always wonderful however, to come home to peace and tranquility and to feel that it is a place where everyone gathers around together to help each other with various chores and projects, or to reboot oneself from a hard day's work of job, school, church, or social event; also there are opportunities to laugh, serve, fellowship and have fun with each other.

However, when unforeseen circumstances come about unexpectedly, they may spin way out of control, producing a whirlwind of events, which could touch the lives of each family member in negative ways. It may be at that point in time where things in your life or your family's life may go topsy-turvy if not stopped or controlled in some positive way.

 times, events, or situations of chaos your family may experience

Families go through various times, events, or situations in which they experience or endure moments of intense stress, tumultuous, or frenzied events that put extreme pressure upon family members, bringing about times of hardship and crisis in their lives; some of which can become too powerful and overbearing. You may see where some of your family members are depressed, anxious, panicky, have physical or mental ill health, or display outbursts of anger from time to time, many stemming from chaotic situations.

Here are just a few of those type of situations I am talking about here:

  1. Divorce. This is a huge stressor in the lives of many families and places everyone on edge when it happens to them. Parents and children alike are affected. However, so are others outside the home. Examples are: kid's schools, church worship, family gatherings, grandparent's involvement, childcare situations, court dates, possible threats, harassment, and bullying of exes, child support monies and distribution, and so forth.
  2. Moving to a new state, city, or country. This means finding a new set of resources for the entire family; changing jobs, schools, and churches; finding and making new friends and relationships; getting to know the town you will be moving to, etc.
  3. Expecting a new baby in the home. Wow, does this ever change a family! Just hearing a baby cry can produce a bit of chaos in the home if he/she is not being attended to. Having to feed it, burp it, diaper it, nurture it, and of course, love it! (he or she); suddenly, baby takes center stage and the whole family is propelled into his/her world. One may also consider here of an unplanned and unexpected teenage pregnancy, which do occur in some families this day in time, whether they are Christian families or not. This indeed can be a highly stressful time in anyone's book.
  4. Drowning in bills and debt clear up to your eyeballs. Families everywhere experience this from time to time I believe, or at least debt may affect them in some way if not completely engulfed by it. Debt has a way of eating through to your pocketbook like acid, sometimes so fast that there may be very few ways to recover from it, expect to just tackle it and have it done away with; otherwise, you and your family will find chaos constantly knocking at your door.
  5. Loss of a house, job, income, spouse, child, etc. Anytime there is a loss within the family, there is stress upon stress, which clearly may cause chaotic events and situations. One can experience so much anguish and grief to the point of having extreme frustration, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, outbursts of anger, and so on, that it can be hard to nearly impossible to get a handle on one's affairs or emotions in the case of any kind of loss in life. It's when one has to adjust and shift from one's emotion, feeling, or behavior to another that seems so difficult and nearly impossible to grasp at the point of a loss. 
  6. Having very little support from other family members or friends, or very few resources around you to work with. I've had this happen to me in the form of attempting to gather up enough resources to do the necessary things I had to do on a regular basis, especially during the times my husband and I separated, and I couldn't seem to be able to manage on my own since I was completely reliant upon him to help me with various things that only he was good at accomplishing. Although I experienced many moments of chaos, I eventually had to pull myself together to find the help, support, and resources I needed in which to help raise our daughter.
  7. Health issues or disabilities of a spouse, child, or other member of the family. When our loved ones are hurt, injured, or are experiencing ill health in some way, we want to be able to jump to their aid and help in every way possible, however; those times seem to always come about when there is very little money in the bank, or when no one is handy or around to help out, or some other situation like that. Hundreds and thousands of dollars can be spent out in medical costs alone and can place such an unbearable amount of stress and burdens upon the family unit that it can cause a lot of chaos as well.
  8. Drug and alcohol abuse within the family. Dangerous drugs and serious alcohol usage are circulating our streets and infiltrating its way into our homes, including Christian homes. Eventually addiction of these substances creep in and destroy our loving families. Here you will see and experience toxic emotions and destructive feelings because of chaotic behaviors and attitudes from the people in your home consuming these drugs. Satan works his crafty ways within the home through the consumption and abuse of narcotics and alcohol abuse.
  9. Digital overload. This will cause chaos in your home if not controlled. You can find in virtually every home these days, the use and overuse of a cellphone, computer, tablet, Ipad, Ipod, Xbox, and whatever else can be found in the name of digital electronics. I currently live in New York City, and everywhere I go, and in nearly every person's ears, you will find them wearing earphones that are connected to either a cellphone, computer, Iphone, Ipad, Ipod, or tablet device. It's almost as if they are all living in a bubble, in their own world, listening to what the rest of the world is telling them, or feeding them. Perhaps it becomes a sort of "inner chaos" within the individual who is deeply involved, or addicted to his/her choice of electronic devices. It's truly a scary thing to see I feel because our society is getting to be so digitally-oriented that when it comes to having a bit of family time together, they would probably have to include their digital devices right alongside them. Pathetic, I say!  Lastly,
  10. Spousal affairs. This does not mean having an affair of the heart, instead, someone is having an affair far away from the heart of the other spouse. Truly, adultery is a sin, a destroyer of families, and a separator of lives and trust from other family members. Having an affair hurts everyone. There is loss of trust, respect, and honor from having an adulterous affair with someone who is not your own spouse. It can and does create chaos within the home, no doubt.

solutions in your chaos

Each of the above chaotic events and situations require some sort of solution or ways to effectively manage, control, or to simply eradicate them. It is entirely possible that each situation may require a particular solution for that problem. Here are some examples of helpful solutions:

  • Marriage counseling: In the cases of divorce and extramarital affairs. These issues need to be tackled with delicacy but also with firmness of faith, in Christian love, compassion, and understanding toward those who are involved, and who have been hurt by the results of these circumstances, such as the children or the injured spouse. You will want to seek out marriage counseling from a licensed marriage counselor, or through your pastor at your local church. Definitely choose someone who holds Christian values and beliefs at a high standard and who can counsel you and your spouse accordingly.
  • Create a workable plan for your family while moving to another city, state, or country. Chaos can occur in your family over this kind of situation as your spouse or young children may not understand the reasons they have to move away from everything they know and love, to be uprooted and placed into a strange environment. In helping to avoid this kind of chaos, search out all the available known resources in the surrounding area you will be moving to, in hopes that it will make your move flow smoother. Check out these resources throughout the internet: Google, Bing, Facebook, YouTube, the local phone directory (Yellow Pages), etc. Talk to your children about going to a new school, how to make friends, and so on. Help them along with the new transition.
  • Locate and contact a debt counseling or debt repair service if you need to in order to help you and your family with your debt and financial needs. They can show you how to manage your expenses and savings. Also they can help you to create a workable budget in helping you and your family curb these expense as well. Also, seek the Lord's counsel here on what you should spend/save your money on. Scripture will make things a lot more clearer to you while remaining faithful to God through your servitude and stewardship. Trust and obey Him for His direction in your finances. 
  • Seek out the help and medical guidance of a trained professional doctor or midwife in teaching you some of the skills in taking care of a newborn baby after birth. In addition, you may want to consult with other wonderful Christian mothers, family members, or friends who have been through all the many phases a growing baby will go through during his/her early childhood developmental years. It's amazing how much wisdom and vital information others can give you in helping your family with the presence of a new baby. I certainly appreciate this kind of resource when I was a young mother. It definitely helps to keep down some of the chaos within the home from the sudden change in family life.
  • Dealing with a loved one's health, physical, or mental issues can also create chaos, disorganization, mental breakdowns and so on within your family unit. Possible solutions to these types of situations are those of seeking out health, or mental health professionals, Home Health aids, or other professionals who are knowledgeable in the field of whatever disability or challenge your loved one may have.
  • Get help with those in your family who are using and abusing drugs and alcohol by seeking out and locating various mental health professionals, drug treatment centers, or those professionally-trained individuals or centers who work to detoxify drugs and alcohol within the body. When you have this type of situation going on in your family, you will experience chaos and disorder of every kind and the quicker you can tackle this problem, the better. And finally,
  • With digital overload, there needs to be consideration and awareness as to how much time should be spent with these digital devices, not just with the kids, but the adults in the household as well. Additional intervention may need to happen, possibly in the form of professional psychiatric help, or a professional who works with addictions of every sort; also your local pastor or Christian counselor can help in these matters as well. However you approach it, if it is not handled properly or addressed right away, this can get completely out of hand to where your children and/or your spouse will not listen or pay attention to you. Be aware because this type of situation will eventually create huge bouts of chaos within your family unit. 

spiritual help in times of chaos

God never promised us as believers that we would not endure troubles, conflicts, stress, or chaotic situations in life, but He did promise that He would be there with us through the tough and difficult times. The Lord gives us mercy and grace when we experience these things that seem so unbearable at times. I know about this first hand. I too am a witness of this fact and can attest it to my own spiritual life as well. 

Christians suffer through harsh, difficult, and hugely stressful times just as non Christians do. However, it's all in the way we perceive the situation, and in how we believe that through God's power, protection, provision, mercy, and grace that He will indeed pull us through whatever the circumstance may be. It's when you trust, believe, and obey God that your life is markedly different from non-believers; and your perception of life's trials are vastly different as well.

The following passages of Scripture will substantiate these facts and help you and your family to avoid chaos at all costs. Here's what they say:

  • Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
  • John 15:7 tells us, "If ye abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you."
  • 1 John 4:4 says, "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world."
  • Psalm 46:1 says, "(To the chief Musician, for the sons of Korah. A Song upon Alamoth. God [is] our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." 
  • Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God. to them who are the called according to [His] purpose."
  • James 1:2-7,12 exhorts, "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. I any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like the wave of the sea driven by the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive anything of the Lord. Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord has promised to them that love Him."

In conclusion, I'd say that the majority of your chaos can be either done away with entirely or managed properly in your home to where it doesn't get completely out of hand. It may seem quite difficult as times, but with God's help and power, all things are possible through Him.

Just remember, Satan loves it when there is chaos everywhere and is happy to keep it going on as long as you will allow it to continue to grow and fester among your family members. He loves to keep a stir going and does it so well within these various arrays of difficult home issues. Throughout those harsh experiences within your Christian home life, there will be many of those that come about in which you can automatically see where Satan has the control. Furthermore, many of these situational events will cause you to challenge even your set Christian values for your family and home life.

Consider practicing the daily habit of having early morning prayer and devotions in your home with your family as you start the day. Make a practice of memorizing Scripture verses to aid you when you are faced with trials and temptations that pull you away from God and spiritual things. Lastly, remember to put on the whole armour of God so that you may withstand the wiles (darts) of the devil. (Eph. 6:10-18). Through these ways, you will soon see the victory that will come into your home as you weed out every bit of chaos, and as you honor the Lord in living a life that is well-pleasing to Him.

Disclaimer:The materials contained on this website are provided for general information and educational purposes only and do not constitute medical, mental, or other professional advice on any subject matter. This website is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical or mental condition. For medical/mental advice, diagnosis, and/or treatment, please seek out a certified medical/mental professional practitioner. I do not accept any responsibility for any loss which may arise from reliance on information contained on this website. Thank you.

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