Sibling rivalry is a destructive force within the Christian home and should not be allowed to permeate throughout your household. Here you will find ways to control and eventually eliminate it altogether.
Perhaps you have grown up in a household, (or know of others who have) where this is portrayed continually throughout the home; where brothers and sisters constantly fuss and fight about anything and/or everything. Maybe it occurs only from time to time; or it happens almost daily in some families.
I personally experienced this within my own family as well. Even though we (there were five of us) were raised in a God-fearing home; my dad being a preacher, and we as preacher's kids; we still were infected with this sinister practice of bickering, fussing, and/or fighting with each other on many occasions (usually about stupid and no-nonsense issues). Many times our parents were beside themselves in learning or knowing what to do, and how to stop us from practically "killing" each other with our mean words and actions towards one another.
Eventually as we get older, we may realize the folly of it all; that all those years of distention, arguments, harsh discussions, back-biting, bickering, and mean behaviors and actions towards our own blood-our brothers and sisters, were all for naught!
We can waste so much precious time-so many years of trying to get our own way, putting our points across, and/or forcing our thoughts, feelings, emotions, and intentions upon our family members that it becomes hard then to find forgiveness, compassion, understanding, and love for them because we are too busy arguing, complaining, and fussing with them.
You and your siblings may feel that you are going around in circles; not getting through to each other; and harboring feelings of hate, jealousy, resentment, and pain. Then you end up in a family that have no more communication with each other. This should not be--not in Christian families.
There is no moving forward within the family unit when there are hurt feelings and old (or new) grudges held for each other. You may then experience further stress in your lives, among other difficult home issues to deal with. So, nothing positive, good, or constructive comes out of sibling rivalry. It becomes like dead weight and brings about heavy hearts for every family member affected by it.
Look at how our young people today are affected and infected by the signs and sins of the media, and of various media outlets. There is sex, violence, social unrest, and the total breakdown of our society in various forms. Put that together with having digital devices in our hands, cars, homes, work, school, and at play, or wherever we are, and it becomes a recipe for disasters of all kinds. So, how is this all played out within our society? Here are a few reasons I have found that put much of the blame on our society, along with Bible verses that refute them:
Ephesians 6:1-4 says, "Children, obey your parents in the LORD: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment of promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
Hebrews 13:17 says, "Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you." Lastly, there is:
Romans 13:1-5, which states, "Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resiteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist receive unto themselves damnation. For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same: For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.Wherefore ye must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake."
James 3:16 tells us, "For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice."
Luke 12:15, Jesus said, "Then He said to them, 'Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions."
Philippians 2:3 reminds us, "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory: but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves."
James 4:2-3 says, "Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts." Finally in,
Ephesians 5:5, it states, "For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God."
John 13:34 says, "A new commandment I give unto you, that you love one another: as I have loved you, that ye also love one another."
Leviticus 19:18 warns, "Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself: I am the Lord."
Matthew 5:21-22 Jesus said, "Ye have heard that it was said of them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgement: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgement: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, 'Thou fool', shall be in danger of hell fire." Lastly,
1 Corinthians 1:10 says, "Now I beseech you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgement."
Sibling rivalry is created and manifested throughout all these scenarios and will continue to perpetuate itself if allowed to do so within the home, or anywhere else for that matter.
Now that we know it exists, and is seen and experienced in many families, including many Christian homes, what is the solution to it? How do we control or stamp out this destructive force within our homes and families?
Here are a few suggestions I have found to be helpful and useful in doing so:
In conclusion, family conflict, chaos, and distentions on the home front can be eradicated or at least tamed down a bit if you eliminate all forms of sibling rivalry; not allowing it to penetrate itself whatsoever into your home.
I would encourage you to continually seek God's will in the raising up of godly children and loving them unconditionally, even if "tough" love is applied from time to time as well. My dear old dad used to always say to us, "Let sisterly/brotherly love continue" as a reminder to me and my siblings to hold our tongues and keep the peace between us.
Sibling rivalry is negative, destructive, and entirely no fun! Sibling peace and harmony, however, is where it's at, and should always be. Treasure a happy home life with the love and peace that can reside there, when you follow God's Word and His leading in creating Christian fellowship and harmony within your household and family. God bless.
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